Aviation Quotables

I was sent these by my friend Steve Grantstein of Wichita, KS.

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    Subject: Our Military's Wit and Wisdom OR the
    Military's version of Murphy's Law.

    "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher
    fire when you least expect it. That would make you
    quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's
    magazine of preventive maintenance.
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    "Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US
    Rocket Launcher
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    "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our
    friend." - US Marine Corps
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    "Cluster bombs from B-52s are very, very accurate.
    The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." -
    USAF Ammo Troop
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    "If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry
    Journal
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    "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over
    the area you just bombed." - US Air Force Manual
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    "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword
    obviously never encountered automatic weapons." -
    General Macarthur
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    "Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." -
    Infantry Journal
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    "You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come
    with me." - US Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
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    "Tracers work both ways." - US Army Ordnance
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    "Five second fuses only last three seconds." -
    Infantry Journal
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    Bravery is being the only one who knows you're
    afraid." - David Hackworth
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    "If your attack is going too well, you are walking into
    an ambush." - Infantry Journal
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    "No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." -
    Joe Gay
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    "Any ship can be a minesweeper... Once." - Anonymous
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    "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to
    do." - Unknown Marine Recruit
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    "Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
    - Your Buddies
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    "If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." -
    USAF Ammo Troop
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    "Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall
    Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing." -
    At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base
    Kadena, Japan
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    "You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach
    3." - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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    "Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the
    ocean than submarines in the sky." --From an old
    carrier sailor
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    "If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage,
    it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
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    "When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you
    always have enough power left to get you to the scene
    of the crash."
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    "What is the similarity between air traffic
    controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the
    pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... The pilot dies."
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    "Never trade luck for skill."
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    The three most common expressions (or famous last
    words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?",
    "Where are we?" and "Oh Shit!"
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    "Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
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    "Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant
    can get a pilot pregnant."
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    "Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never
    left one up there!"
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    "Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a
    flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."
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    "Flying the airplane is more important than radioing
    your plight to a person on the ground incapable of
    understanding or doing anything about it."
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    "Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your
    funeral will be held on a sunny day."
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    Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang
    (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the
    softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and
    gently as possible."
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    "The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it
    can just barely kill you." - Attributed to Max Stanley
    (Northrop test pilot)
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    "Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver
    than you."
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    "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in
    peacetime." - Sign over squadron ops desk at
    Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ,
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    "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's
    about to."
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    Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the
    air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the
    air can be recognized by the appearance of ground,
    buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is
    much more difficult to fly there."
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    As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental
    aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the
    crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer
    sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?". The
    pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"
    - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)